- Take her to Marathahalli bridge. You can convince her that you can stop time because nothing moves after 5pm.
- Silk Board junction. You’ll have enough time to get married too.
Bengaluru’s commuters have decided that if they cannot beat traffic, they will poke fun at it. This week no less than seven stretches known for their terrible traffic have appeared on Twitter with their own handles, each trying to relieve the tedium of Bengaluru commute with hilarious and obviously fake traffic updates.
The social media phenomenon seems to have started on Monday, October 23, when @silk_board registered on the microblogging site, claiming to give timely and detailed traffic updates from India’s biggest parking lot.
Traffic Update : Guy in 500C Volvo with Akamai ID card has swiftly moved from Level 2 to Level 83 in Candy Crush over the last one hour.
— Silk Board (@silk_board) November 23, 2015
Traffic Update (10:31 AM) - 24 Tinder matches. 4 Grindr matches. 1 Bharat Matrimony match. — Silk Board (@silk_board) November 23, 2015
The Silk Board junction is one of the many commuting nightmares n the city, where traffic often stagnates for hours on end. The @silk_board account evidently is relieving some of the tedium of travel, and has maybe even saved a frustrated driver an ulcer or two. The account has got more than 3,200 followers in five days. In an newspaper interview, the person who created the @silk_board handle said that it was very interesting that all the people who go to Bengaluru’s many start-up offices to change the world with technology were helpless when they were stuck in traffic. The @silk_board was created to help these souls, stranded in traffic staring at their phones.
“There's no larger purpose, or social commentary, or anything,” the person said. I just make jokes. "That's all I do."
@silk_board’s success has inspired other flyovers and junctions to join in the humour mongering. The accounts for Tin Factory (Mein Samay Hoon), Jayadeva Flyover (Don't even think of me from 7 AM - 10 AM), Hebbal Flyover (I challenge you to fly over me. Tweets are Real Time = slow [& chaotic] like my traffic), Kadugodi Flyover and Sony Signal have made an appearance on Twitter, competing for commuter attention with witty commentary on the state of Bengaluru’s roads.
I get the kick when ppl frm Gopalan Mall accidentally climb the flyover and then get stuck for half our on BTM road to take a U-turn. He He — Jayadeva Flyover (@JayadevaFlyover) November 27, 2015
Pfft. Moderate. I'll show you what it is to be complacent. Another hour or so and then we'll talk.. https://t.co/UlMGTeijKE — Hebbal Flyover (@HebbalFlyover) November 27, 2015
Can't hide my evil laugh at the Verna driver in blue shirt, talking on the phone "I will reach in 20 mins". Game ON, buddy ! — Kadugodi Flyover (@KadugodiFlyover) November 27, 2015
Whoever thought of building a mall next to a signal , thanks a lot for making me this popular. I owe you one.
— sonysignalblr (@sonysignalblr) November 27, 2015
I like to jam a lot. What are all your hobbies ?? #Bengaluru
— Hebbal Flyover (@HebbalFlyover) November 27, 2015
Dude Faasos, do you deliver at signals yet? Do a test run around me. https://t.co/n1zd8OHn1E
— Graphite Signal (@GraphiteSignal) November 26, 2015
Every. Single. Time pic.twitter.com/DTZ7lFgbXf
— Tin Factory (@tin_factory) November 25, 2015