Mangoes are a dangerous fruit. They tend to make people abandon all sense of proportion and propriety, who then tear into each other and declare that no mango can match the taste of the one they plucked 43 years ago from a tree outside their grandmother’s house.

Part of the reason mangoes transform otherwise mellow people into dangerous fanatics is that there are so many varieties of the fruit. You can’t travel more than 20 kilometres in India without coming across a new variation of the species. It is such a national (and international) obsession that varieties have been bred and cross-bred to find that  optimal seed-to-skin and fibre-to-flesh ratios.

Here is look at some stellar Indian mango varieties. You decide which one is best.

1. Alphonso
The so-called king of mangoes, the Alphonso is also the most exported variety. Around 60% of all its exports go to the Middle East. Grown most famously in the Ratnagiri region of Maharashtra, it is also found along the western parts of Gujarat and Karnataka. The fruit is famous for its thin skin, orange flesh and sweetness, as well as being the most overpriced mango anyone can find. But because the European Union has decided to disallow Indian imports this year after finding fruit flies in some consignments, local fans could find the Alphonso becoming more affordable.

2. Badami
An apparently close relative of the Alphonso, Karnataka’s Badami is sweeter, softer and significantly yellow, not orange. Apart from these minor details, it could well be mistaken for an Alphonso. Even so, Kannadigas, it seems, prefer neighbouring Andhra Pradesh’s large, edible-skinned, yellow banganapalli mangoes to these.

3. Dashehari
As mangoes go, the Dashehari has the pedigree. A 200-year-old Dashehari tree in Malihabad, Lucknow, is said to be the parent of most other varieties of mangoes in the north – and in Pakistan too. The fruit is non-fibrous and yellow like the badami, and is prone to cause violent reactions among its more ardent fans when insulted, particularly because of its heritage.

4. Fazli
This humble mango, grown primarily in West Bengal and Bihar, caused an international incident in 2012 when India dared to list it as its own product. Fazli growers in Bangladesh, it seems, were not amused at yet another instance of cultural appropriation by India. So agitated were they by this that the Bangladesh parliament drafted an entire new law to be able to label their Fazlis as originating from Bangladesh, and not from across the border.

5. Pairi
In their quest to get rid of all those fibres that stay in your teeth for days after as potent reminders, lovers of mango pulp turn to the pairi, grown along the west coast. The largely fibreless fruit has soft pulp and a small seed, and if gently massaged, can be eaten, like the chausa of the north, without cutting it. Supporters say that eating a pairi is like having  poetry in your mouth.