Of the many paradoxes that abound in India, one is the status of women in society. In the Hindu pantheon of gods, there are many goddesses and often shakti or power is represented by women. Even the gods of wealth and learning – Lakshmi and Saraswati – are women. It is paradoxical that India was the second country in the world to have a democratically elected woman leader as the head of the government in Indira Gandhi, even as the suppression of women’s voices and the unrelenting cycle of gender-based violence garners headlines. Violence against women starting from the womb is very high and high female foeticide is leading to severe gender imbalances.

The adverse gender ratio at the state and country levels is usually blamed on the economic costs of bringing up a daughter.

First is the high cost of marriage because of the practice of giving dowry. In many states marriage expenses can be crippling for a girl’s family and unfortunately the practice of giving dowry endures till this day in many states and communities, although it is illegal. Apart from dowry, there is also the issue of division of property if girls demand their share of the family property.

Second, it is believed, in many cases erroneously, that sons will take care of their parents in their old age whereas daughters will be married off; hence, it is worthwhile to equip sons with education in preference to daughters and thus improve the future earning potential of sons.

But it is interesting to note that the so-called economic costs cannot be the only reason for this skewed gender ratio. Otherwise how does one explain the differences in gender ratio patterns in states like Bihar and Andhra Pradesh on the one hand and states like Haryana, Rajasthan and Maharashtra on the other, as the practice of dowry is prevalent in all these states. And then there is a state like Gujarat where the practice of dowry is less prevalent but the gender ratio is still poor.

Society it seems is horribly schizophrenic with double standards and this is not a recent development.

Look at Indian mythology for instance. Lord Rama, who is considered as the embodiment of an ideal man (maryada purushottam Rama) disfigures Surpanakha because she expresses her love and desire for him, a married man, even though it was very normal for a king to have many wives, including Lord Rama’s father who had three.

While Rama was perfectly within his rights to spurn the advances of Surpanakha, did he really have a right to physically disfigure her? And then his treatment of Sita – guided by the whims and fancies and the complaints of one of his subjects, he had Sita undergo tests to prove her fidelity. This is undesirable and not worthy of an ideal man in today’s context. I have used the words ‘Indian mythology’ and ‘Hindu mythology’ interchangeably.

While it is true that the treatment of the feminine and women in many religions and ancient societies leaves much to be desired and remains regressive by today’s standards, I have given a few examples from Hindu mythology because it is the dominant religion of the people of India.

Then there is the image of the ideal Indian woman or adarsh bhartiya naari, who is pure and virginal and does not stray or express her desires and feelings in public and mostly not even at home.

Her feelings and desires are subservient to those of her father, brother, husband, in-laws, uncles and sundry male relations. She is usually never the vamp, although temptresses abound in Indian mythology and the villainous mother-in-law or step-mother is a staple in mythology and in popular culture like films and TV serials.

As a result vamps in Indian films or the extras dancing to item numbers in skimpy clothes are depicted with fair skin and blonde hair. I mention Hindi films because they are a good barometer of Indian society. But why only films? The cheerleaders in the Indian Premier League are all, barring none, western or Caucasian white-skinned girls. How can Indian girls be cheerleaders wearing skimpy clothes and gyrating to loud music? These cheerleaders clearly work well with a largely male audience that is obsessed with fair skin.

In that “glorious” tradition of our largely patriarchal society, which seeks to maintain the Indian culture and “protect” the honour of the ideal Indian woman, the only publicly acknowledged porn movie star in India is also an import – Sunny Leone.

Sunny Leone is her stage name and her real name is Karanjit Kaur Vohra, a lady of Indian descent, born in Canada who starred in American porn films before coming to India to search for her fortunes in the Hindi film industry.

In a similar vein, India’s biggest home grown porn star is Savita bhabhi (sister-in-law), a cartoon character. At the same time, millions of women and children in India are estimated to be victims of human trafficking, although no reliable estimates are available and only a few thousand official complaints are recorded every year. I am not sure whether we are schizophrenic or plain hypocritical or both.

This paradox can be seen elsewhere as well. More recently, India became one of the very few countries where women decisively broke the glass ceiling in the corporate world, primarily in financial services. None of these women leaders in financial services has inherited family businesses; they have all risen up the rungs of the corporate ladder from scratch in an industry which is globally dominated by alpha males. A global fund manager’s remark in this context is pertinent. When I was telling him about my research, he told me that in his experience of analysing global financial companies, he found ICICI Bank to be the most gender friendly financial services company in the world. How did this happen?

In a country with strong religious and cultural traditions, the winds of change can be seen in the way some traditions are subtly changing.

Karva Chauth is a festival which is primarily a tradition in north India but now with the media hype and frenzy that accompanies it, it is virtually an all-India festival. During Karva Chauth, a married woman fasts the whole day for the well-being and good health of her husband and has her first morsel of food and first sip of water of the day only after spotting the moon.

Going by social media, many of my friends, rather people like us, find this tradition regressive. While women adhere to this tradition and smart marketers have ensured that husbands buy lavish gifts and organise massive parties, slowly many husbands too have started fasting in sympathy with their wives. Gender equality, Indian style.

Excerpted with permission from Half A Billion Rising: The Emergence of the Indian Woman, Anirudha Dutta, Rainlight Rupa.