When Modi sought each secret stash,
He had us queue for meagre cash,
But black turns white, returns to dark,
The silver bullet’s missed its mark.
Prepare now for the next barrage,
The return of Inspector Raj,
As experts cautiously conclude,
India’s sort of, kind of, screwed.

Kuwait, Bahrain, Abu Dhabi,
Sufi, Shia and Wahhabi,
Are completely out of gas,
A toppling Ozymandias.
It’s all down to the price of crude,
And the Persian Gulf is pretty screwed.

The neighbours have it even worse,
They’re beaten down by every curse,
From tyranny to civil war.
A blood-dimmed tide without a shore,
Engulfs Aleppo and Nimrud.
The emigrating multitude,
Tells of lands completely screwed.

Downstairs, Mugabe’s mad regime
Maintains a failed takeover scheme,
And Jacob Zuma’s venal team
Destroys Madiba’s radiant dream.
When rainbows cease being multi-hued
A rainbow nation’s surely screwed.

Europe was way past its crest,
Long before the Brexit test.
Orthodox, RC, or Prot,
Nobody can stem the rot.
Blue, white and red disdain the green:
So long Marianne, hello Marine.
We’ll have Paris in loved-up mood,
But on the whole, La France is screwed.

Putin’s grabbed Sevastopol,
Made the media bend and crawl.
His forces, though, are thinly spread,
With seven quarters in the red,
And soon the Russian soul will brood
On how, once more, the country’s screwed.

Three long decades of deflation
Have made Japan a feeble nation,
They face a demographic hex,
But have no kids or even sex.
China’s the last nation standing,
Until the coming bumpy landing
Evolves to tragic interlude.
Believe me, East Asia’s screwed.

Last, of course, the orange dude,
That guy the Broadway audience booed,
The token establishment dupe,
And random loonies in the group.
Their game’s the same divide and rule,
We learned about in primary school.
They’ll go out looking for a brawl,
Target aliens, build a wall,
While Trump neglects each crisis,
How hot the air or thin the ice is,
To focus on a Twitter feud
Can you doubt that we’re all screwed?