Anything that moves

Why Narendra Modi deserves not one but all the Nobel Prizes

The first Nobel that ought to have gone to our dear leader was the Peace Prize, for his efforts in Gujarat in 2002.

Dear sisters and brothers,

A very happy 72nd Independence Day to you. We Indians are privileged to be guided at this crucial moment in our history by the greatest leader our nation has produced, Sri Narendra Modi. Not only has UNESCO declared Modiji the best prime minister in the world, it has also, under his aegis, bestowed similar accolades on our national anthem, our national flag, and our national bird, as you have perhaps been informed through forwarded messages on WhatsApp. Even as our nation is poised for a great leap forward, I urge you to unite in seeking for our captain the many honours denied to him, among them the Nobel Prize.

Truth be told, Modiji deserves not one Nobel Prize but all of them. Just last week, a number of commentators nominated him for the Nobel in Chemistry, for articulating the potential of converting gutter vapours to cooking fuel without expensive processes involving separation of gases and pressurisation. Such direct conversion is perfectly appropriate technology for India, which boasts more open drains than any country on earth. Using this ready source of renewable energy, the Modi government promises to provide every Indian with inexpensive power and cooking gas in the near future.

The first Nobel that ought to have gone to our dear leader was the Peace Prize. The Nobel committee, which erred in failing to acknowledge Mahatma Gandhi decades ago, is continuing on its misguided path by refusing to recognise Modiji’s efforts in Gujarat in 2002, which established him as the inheritor of Gandhi’s legacy. Compelling interviews with Babu Bajrangiji and Haresh Bhattji, associates of Sri Modi in his years as chief minister of Gujarat, reveal that his actions in the wake of the Godhra train burning were every bit as admirable as Gandhi’s well-known role in calming Calcutta in August 1947. No less praiseworthy was the Gujarat administration’s provision of succour to innocent Indians who were forced from their homes in those days.

Although the Nobel committee ignored him, Modiji’s actions in 2002 cemented his place in the hearts of Indian patriots and helped elevate him to his destined role as the nation’s guardian. In the course of that journey, he laid claim to the Nobel Prize in Physiology and Medicine, for resurrecting the forgotten Indian traditions of extra-corporal birthing and entire head replacement. He alluded, during his time as chief minister, to our nation’s glorious medical history, which is misinterpreted by colonialists and self-loathing Indians as mythology or legend. Returning to the theme after his ascension, he said:

“The Mahabharata says Karna was not born from his mother’s womb. This means that genetic science was present at that time. That is why Karna could be born outside his mother’s womb… We worship Lord Ganesha. There must have been some plastic surgeon at that time who got an elephant’s head on the body of a human being and began the practice of plastic surgery.”

A Man of Capital Letters

Three Nobel Prizes would cement Modiji’s place in history and in the Guinness Book of World Records. He would overtake Linus Pauling, who was awarded in two disparate disciplines, Chemistry and Peace. But Indians should settle for nothing less than a Grand Unification of Trophies. And so, on to Literature, where Modiji has carved a space for himself among men of letters, and particularly among Men of Capital Letters (MCL). MCL literature consists of reducing complex concepts to simple acronyms, and occasionally creating elaborate acronyms for basic ideas. Modiji is among the most prolific authors in the field today. The power of his abridgements is such that it transcends the distinction between saying and doing.

As a result, Indians today enjoy the VIKAS (Vidyut, Kanoon, and Sadak) he promised: every village is electrified, the rule of law prevails like it did during Ram Rajya, and potholes have disappeared from roads. Other gems he has dreamt up include an enunciation of his TOP priority (Tomato, Onions, and Potatoes); the equation IT + IT = IT (Indian Talent + Information Technology = India Tomorrow); the evolution from PPPs (Public-Private-Partnerships) to PPPPs (Public-Private-People-Partnerships), a shift too subtle for those who consider “people” a synonym of “public”; and the ideal of PRAGATI (Pro-Active Governance and Timely Implementation) which is most evident in the administration’s response to television news.

There are a dozen other acronyms I could discuss, but let me conclude with STRENGTH, which he expanded to mean Spirituality, Tradition, Trade and Technology, Relationship, Entertainment, Art, Nature, and Health. It would be no exaggeration to say Modiji’s working style exemplifies STTTREANH.

Demonetisation for all ills

As a final testament to his versatility, Modiji laid claim to the Nobel Prize for Economics on the night of November 8, 2016, by announcing a demonetisation of the old 500 rupee and 1,000 rupee notes, which were swapped for new 500 rupee and 2,000 rupee notes. This stroke of genius, this breathtakingly bold initiative, eliminated black money in one fell swoop. Not only that, it eradicated the menace of counterfeiting. As his acolytes predicted, the note swap also put an immediate stop to demonstrations in the restive Kashmir Valley, which had been financed by counterfeit currency from Pakistan. The world is witness to the tranquility that has descended on the formerly troubled state in the months since demonetisation. Meanwhile, across India, even the poorest of the poor have adapted to our new cashless economy, sending and receiving money digitally instead of dealing with grubby paper currency.

There remains the Nobel Prize for Physics. I might be overlooking some relevant accomplishment, for they are too numerous for one person to monitor, but have no doubt that Modiji will stake claim to this citation before his first term is done. Our Home Minister Rajnath Singh has already shown that Werner Heisenberg pinched his Uncertainty Principle from the Vedas. Modiji will doubtless take this forward and discover the unification of general relativity and quantum field theory in Hindu scripture. In the meantime, I request my Indian brothers and sisters to lobby the various Nobel committees diligently, and secure for our beloved ruler the laurels he so richly merits.

Jai Hind.

Support our journalism by subscribing to Scroll+ here. We welcome your comments at letters@scroll.in.
Sponsored Content BY 

What is it about Tom Clancy’s characters?

In the mammoth Jack Ryan series, Tom Clancy creates a compelling protagonist who is as cerebral as he is action-oriented.

Jack Ryan (Ph.D., CPA, KCVO) has had an eventful life. He’s served as a marine, made a fortune worth millions after retirement from the military, earned a doctorate degree in history and beaten up a lot of bad guys along the way. He is a unique action hero, in that he has also been a US Marine, an investment broker, a history teacher, a CIA analyst rising to Deputy Director, National Security Advisor, vice president and eventually the President of the United States of America! This multipotentialite is the protagonist of Tom Clancy’s ‘Ryanverse’ - the term used to refer to the fictional universe he built over 10 books.

Jack Ryan is a complex hero. Before he was beating up bad guys Hollywood-style, he also took a year to learn to walk again and battled painkiller addiction. Before he became the POTUS, jet-setting around the world on official matters, he nursed a crushing phobia of flying. A reluctant president, he nonetheless campaigns for a second term and even has foreign policy named after him - the ‘Ryan Doctrine’- in the tradition of some past US presidents.

Other prominent characters in Ryanverse have equally rollercoaster-like story arcs. John Clark/Kelly - Ryan’s bodyguard - is tragedy’s favourite child, having lost his parents in childhood and later wife. After a whirlwind adventure involving two gunshots and 16 murders, John Kelly ended up having to change his identity to John Clark. He, unlike Ryan, has an unusually strong aversion to drugs.

In the later books, Tom Clancy also devotes space to Jack Ryan Jr, who takes after his father more ways than one. An intelligence analyst by profession, Jack Jr, too, is adept in firearms, close-quarter combat, surveillance and espionage. Jack Jr has a tumultuous relationship with his girlfriend, a CIA operative herself, with whom he parts after she’s revealed to be an indirect intelligence asset.

Ryanverse is replete with scores of characters of all shades - spies, soldiers, terrorists, politicians and criminals - that set in motion events that threaten the course of world order. Clancy’s varied interests and love for research culminates in an action series which also explores history, politics, international relations and the human condition, especially when it comes to loss and grief. All his prominent characters are fighting some personal demons even as they chase down enemies that are equally complex.

Ryanverse’s charismatic leading man has also been the focus of five Hollywood films. Actors Alec Baldwin, Harrison Ford, Ben Affleck and Chris Pine have all portrayed the iconic character at various stages of his career. Now, John Krasinski takes up the role in Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan, playing a gifted-analyst-turned-reluctant-action-hero thrown into a global terrorism conspiracy. Watch the trailer of Tom Clancy’s Jack Ryan below.

Play

Jack Ryan is now streaming on Amazon Prime Video. You can watch it here.

This article was produced by the Scroll marketing team on behalf of Amazon Prime Video and not by the Scroll editorial team.