My yoga teacher had this phrase “Relax into the pain”, which meant don’t fight it, give into it and it won’t be so bad.
In times of distress and pain, loneliness and weight gain, sad songs have the same effect, at least for me.
You can’t go past the word solitude without this gem filling up my emptiness. It’s one of the first songs I learned how to sing. Even now, when I’m feeling melancholy, I sing it to myself. Somehow the pathos of the melody and lyrics cancels the blueness in my heart. A masterpiece of simplicity and quietude with Ella Fitzgerald and Joe Pass performing Duke Ellington’s In My Solitude.
One of the saddest songs in the world is You Don’t Know What Love Is. It is so tragic I sometimes find myself weeping when I’m singing it. And that makes me feel good. Here’s Nina Simone, the queen of solitude taking it to the edge and back.
The haunting trumpet and voice of Chet Baker, like a lonely wolf howling in the dark of night, puts my fears to rest. He does not sing happy songs, and he does not play chirpy trumpet solos. He makes sure that you don’t get too far away from the truth, and that is alright with me. If you’ve ever wanted to take a deep dive down to the very bottom of the ocean, this Elvis Costello tune Almost Blue could get you there.
I have never tried singing this song in public, it’s hard to find a quiet audience who can sink into the pain here in Bangalore. It will be hard to come out of this lockdown and re-enter society.
Radha Thomas is a jazz vocalist and author whose albums include Only Have Eyes for You and Bangalore Blues and whose novels include Men on My Mind and The Cauliflower Diet.
Read the other articles in the Art of Solitude series here.
