Photo feature

A Mumbai photographer trains her lens on gender-fluid rituals of beauty

Anusha Yadav's new series 'Transfixed' gives responses to the question what is beautiful.

When Anusha Yadav first told celebrity make-up artist Cory Walia she wanted to feature him in her project Transfixed, he was apprehensive.

"All she said was: I want to photograph men who wear make-up," Walia recalled.

A few years ago, another artist-photographer had borrowed pictures from Walia’s personal archive, of him and his friends hanging out, wearing "feminine" clothes and make-up. Walia gave permission for the photographs to be shown at a gallery in Colaba.

The next day, an image of Walia's friend dressed in drag appeared on the cover page of a leading national daily. The artist-photographer had not asked anyone in the images for their consent, before she outed the photographs to an audience much larger than the one they had first signed up for.

Based on this past experience with photographers and consent, Walia was wary of Yadav.

“I just wanted some reassurance that she wasn't doing this for the sake of sensationalism, or for the picture to become a target for trolling or ridicule," he said, "not that I’m not used to it. I have braved enough of it in my life since I was a child and have learned to deal with it.”

Walia said he relaxed once he realised what Transfixed was trying to capture – Yadav's many responses to the question what is beautiful?

According to Walia, Yadav gave her subjects complete freedom to be themselves on camera, without fetishising their gender-fluidity, or trying to orchestrate their look. The results are stunning.

“Not all trans-feminine, androgynous or queer men style up, but for those who do, I have wondered about their ideas to amplify the femininity that they identify with and enjoy so thoroughly," Yadav said. "I found that some dress up to put on an identity, some to share an identity and some to shed one off. But in this series, the medium for all of them to do this, is the same – make-up and accessories. The process of putting on kajal in a certain way, the flare of the brush on the cheekbone and choice of clothes. Each person in this series terms themselves differently. I wanted to capture this transformation on camera.”

The idea of beauty has always intrigued the portrait photographer who lives in Mumbai. Walia is one of the 16 people who have been photographed by Yadav for the ongoing photo project, titled Transfixed. Yadav hopes to find at least 15-20 more people to complete it.

Some of Yadav's subjects were discovered through pure luck – for instance, the time she noticed an attractive 25-year-old at The Bagel Shop in Bandra.

“I was at the café, when she walked up to me and told me she liked my style,” Kean Alvares said. A professional androgynous model, Alvares is used to strangers who stare and try to strike up conversation.

“It’s very obvious when you look at me that I’m androgynous,” Alvares said, with a little laugh. “It’s not exactly a secret.”

Alvares said he was ridiculed for being too "effeminate" since he was a child, but he's also met people who appreciate his courage for remaining true to who he is, something that boosts his confidence.

For the shoot, Yadav gave Alvares the single instruction she gave all her models: be yourself, whoever that is. Each dressed themselves and chose their own make-up. Some arrived with a team of trusted friends who helped them get ready for the shoot, others knew exactly how to style themselves.

“Beauty can be a big deal for all women, but ideas of feminine beauty for the androgynous, queer or trans-feminines can be a matter of life-or-death," Yadav said. "There are moments when they can be placed in danger for not passing as a woman convincingly enough.”

Alvares decided to emulate the style of Mexican artist Frida Kahlo.

“I had a particular vision for myself," he said. "I wanted to choose a look that would best tell my story. I wanted it to reflect the brand I have created for myself.”

Walia chose his inner femme fatale, straight out of the mysterious and thrilling world of 007, the fictional British spy James Bond.

“Growing up I had always been fascinated by the glamorous Russian women in the James Bond novels," he said. "They were deadly and could kill in a flash, there was a sexual aura around them. That’s where I took my inspiration from,” .

Walia posed for Yadav’s shoot with a purple scarf around his neck and a fur headdress, his eyebrows arched and his expression regal, almost challenging.

Yadav said she didn't quite have the words to describe how she felt, each time one of her subjects revealed themselves to the camera.

“Awestruck comes closest,” she said.

According to Yadav, her biggest hurdle was using the correct terminology.

“I’m an LGBTQ ally, but I’m an outsider still," she said. "So there was a certain learning process that I needed to go through because I did not want to be offensive or belittle anyone. Terminology is constantly evolving. What was correct to say yesterday is probably not correct today. Like, I learnt that not everyone wants to be referred to as cross-dressers. There are words and terms that they identify with.”

Kumar Iyer, 45, also a make-up artist, had no qualms about being a part of Transfixed.

“I’m not transgender, I’m gay,” he said. “This is just one part of my personality and initially it was about wearing a mask so that no one recognises me.”

For the shoot, Iyer borrowed a red Kanjeevaram sari with gold zari work from a friend, and did his own make-up.

“I was so scared of getting make-up on the sari that I didn’t even wear it, just draped it on me," Iyer said. "When I do dress up, I’m not going for shock value. I don’t want my make-up to be harsh or garish or to stand out in the crowd like a sore thumb. I want my look to be feminine with just enough drama, but a more natural feel.”

In front of the camera, Iyer’s concerns were those of anyone posing for a close-up portrait: am I looking good? Does my hair look fine?

“This is the real thing," he said. "The pictures aren’t photoshopped, or touched up. They are raw! You can see every line, every pore, every little imperfection in them.”

Iyer believes that attitudes towards gender have changed a lot in the past few years.

“I don’t think there is acceptance still, but there are more conversations happening around sexual identity and gender," he said. "People don’t look the other way like they used to.”

We welcome your comments at
Sponsored Content  BY 

Some of the worst decisions made in history

From the boardroom to the battlefield, bad decisions have been a recipe for disaster

On New Year’s Day, 1962, Dick Rowe, the official talent scout for Decca Records, went to office, little realising that this was to become one of the most notorious days in music history. He and producer Mike Smith had to audition bands and decide if any were good enough to be signed on to the record label. At 11:00 am, either Rowe or Smith, history is not sure who, listened a group of 4 boys who had driven for over 10 hours through a snowstorm from Liverpool, play 15 songs. After a long day spent listening to other bands, the Rowe-Smith duo signed on a local group that would be more cost effective. The band they rejected went on to become one of the greatest acts in musical history – The Beatles. However, in 1962, they were allegedly dismissed with the statement “Guitar groups are on the way out”.

Source: Wikimedia Commons
Source: Wikimedia Commons

Decca’s decision is a classic example of deciding based on biases and poor information. History is full of examples of poor decisions that have had far reaching and often disastrous consequences.

In the world of business, where decisions are usually made after much analysis, bad decisions have wiped out successful giants. Take the example of Kodak – a company that made a devastating wrong decision despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary. Everyone knows that Kodak couldn’t survive as digital photography replaced film. What is so ironic that Alanis Morissette could have sung about it, is that the digital camera was first invented by an engineer at Kodak as early as 1975. In 1981, an extensive study commissioned by Kodak showed that digital was likely to replace Kodak’s film camera business in about 10 years. Astonishingly, Kodak did not use this time to capitalise on their invention of digital cameras – rather they focused on making their film cameras even better. In 1996, they released a combined camera – the Advantix, which let users preview their shots digitally to decide which ones to print. Quite understandably, no one wanted to spend on printing when they could view, store and share photos digitally. The Advantix failed, but the company’s unwillingness to shift focus to digital technology continued. Kodak went from a 90% market share in US camera sales in 1976 to less than 10% in 2012, when it filed for bankruptcy. It sold off many of its biggest businesses and patents and is now a shell of its former self.

Source: Wikimedia Commons
Source: Wikimedia Commons

Few military blunders are as monumental as Napoleon’s decision to invade Russia. The military genius had conquered most of modern day Europe. However, Britain remained out of his grasp and so, he imposed a trade blockade against the island nation. But the Russia’s Czar Alexander I refused to comply due to its effect on Russian trade. To teach the Russians a lesson, Napolean assembled his Grand Armée – one of the largest forces to ever march on war. Estimates put it between 450,000 to 680,000 soldiers. Napoleon had been so successful because his army could live off the land i.e. forage and scavenge extensively to survive. This was successful in agriculture-rich and densely populated central Europe. The vast, barren lands of Russia were a different story altogether. The Russian army kept retreating further and further inland burning crops, cities and other resources in their wake to keep these from falling into French hands. A game of cat and mouse ensued with the French losing soldiers to disease, starvation and exhaustion. The first standoff between armies was the bloody Battle of Borodino which resulted in almost 70,000 casualties. Seven days later Napoleon marched into a Moscow that was a mere shell, burned and stripped of any supplies. No Russian delegation came to formally surrender. Faced with no provisions, diminished troops and a Russian force that refused to play by the rules, Napolean began the long retreat, back to France. His miseries hadn’t ended - his troops were attacked by fresh Russian forces and had to deal with the onset of an early winter. According to some, only 22,000 French troops made it back to France after the disastrous campaign.

Source: Wikimedia Commons
Source: Wikimedia Commons

When it comes to sports, few long time Indian cricket fans can remember the AustralAsia Cup final of 1986 without wincing. The stakes were extremely high – Pakistan had never won a major cricket tournament, the atmosphere at the Sharjah stadium was electric, the India-Pakistan rivalry at its height. Pakistan had one wicket in hand, with four runs required off one ball. And then the unthinkable happened – Chetan Sharma decided to bowl a Yorker. This is an extremely difficult ball to bowl, many of the best bowlers shy away from it especially in high pressure situations. A badly timed Yorker can morph into a full toss ball that can be easily played by the batsman. For Sharma who was then just 18 years old, this was an ambitious plan that went wrong. The ball emerged as a low full toss which Miandad smashed for a six, taking Pakistan to victory. Almost 30 years later, this ball is still the first thing Chetan Sharma is asked about when anyone meets him.

So, what leads to bad decisions? While these examples show the role of personal biases, inertia, imperfect information and overconfidence, bad advice can also lead to bad decisions. One of the worst things you can do when making an important decision is to make it on instinct or merely on someone’s suggestion, without arming yourself with the right information. That’s why Aegon Life puts the power in your hands, so you have all you need when choosing something as important as life insurance. The Aegon Life portal has enough information to help someone unfamiliar with insurance become an expert. So empower yourself with information today and avoid decisions based on bad advice. For more information on the iDecide campaign, see here.


This article was produced on behalf of Aegon Life by the marketing team and not by the editorial staff.