After the uproar over Red FM RJ Malishka’s rap song on the apathy of Mumbai’s Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation and the Shiv Sena towards the city’s roads, their response, and then the radio station’s defence parody, here comes the truth of the matter.

In a new video, comedian José Covaco conducts his own mock investigation into the state of Mumbai’s roads.

As he walks the streets of Bandra in Mumbai, he comes upon several potholes...but actually, they are not what they look like. “These are not potholes, this is actually tea, for the birds,” he insists with a (nearly) straight face, pointing to the muddy water in the Reclamation area. “This is making sure that chai is freely available for all people,” he adds. It’s easy to play the blame game with civic authorities, but a true citizen would look beyond, at the bigger picture, he says earnestly.

Further investigation reveals there are no mosquitoes breeding in puddles, as the roads smell of fresh fruits and vegetables, and Elon Musk’s nanobots occupy the area near Lilavati hospital, while hi-tech speed breakers near RJ Mallishka’s residence ensure citizens’ safety. He even finds a “multipurpose hole” near cricketer Sachin Tendulkar’s residence on Perry Cross Road. The city is in perfect condition, really, and those who claim otherwise need a dose of reality, clearly.