Remember the last time you finished your work, relaxed, ate dinner, read a book and got into bed at 11 pm? Of course not. You were up all night browsing on your phone or laptop, watching cat videos, reading articles about what the cast from Friends looks like two decades later, and checking on that exotic “hidden” fruit that will solve diabetes, cancer, skin problems, kidney stones and relationship problems all at once.
All because of the headlines. Right? The ones you can’t help but click on.
The Irish comedy sketch group Foil, Arms and Hog has summed up the seething indignation, and the internalised shame and guilt, you must feel at clickbait content. And so we have The Clickbait Song. “Oh, that looks interesting...Ugh clickbait. Every time!” Sean Flanagan (Hog) exclaims scornfully, as Conor McKenna (Arms) and Sean Finegan (Foil) walk in singing the opening tune.
The trio sing their number to the tune of The Chordette’s Mr Sandman, with these lyrics:
“Oh clickbait! Sponsored content!
Online adverts they’re so persistent
Nine ways to make money real quick
Become a millionaire with ‘just one trick’
You know me so well
You know my search history
You know where I dwell.”
The song’s amusing lyrics are interspersed with sketches and references to familiar clickbait trends online, like: “Nine ways to make money real quick”, “You won’t believe these dead celebs”, how to get a free iPhone, “the hidden cure for illnesses your doctor doesn’t want you to know about”, and so on.