“I know the world outside is getting crazy, but look on the bright side -–television’s never been better,” began Stephen Colbert, opening the 69th Emmy Awards in Los Angeles. As promised, his cold-open was, in fact, a song-and-dance number where he sang about everything that was right (This is Us, Stranger Things, Brooklyn 99 and The Handmaid’s Tale) and wrong (global warming, Middle East, the President and the nightly news) and how “troubles aren’t so troubling, when you see them in HD” and “everything is better on TV”.
“Tonight, we binge ourselves,” he declared to his audience at the Microsoft Theatre. Colbert had only one word of advice for the winners: “Don’t forget to thank everyone who helped you get up here, mainly Game of Thrones for not being eligible this year.”
Pointing out that the biggest television star of the year is indubitably Donald Trump, Colbert segued into the most anticipated bit of his segment – jokes about the United States President. “However you feel about the President, and you do feel about the President, you can’t deny that every show was influenced by Donald Trump in some way,” he observed.
The host recounted about the times when Trump was nominated for an Emmy multiple times for Celebrity Apprentice, but never won. “If he had won an Emmy, I bet he wouldn’t have run for President,” Colbert quipped. “So in a way, this was all your fault,” he said as he pointed to everyone in the audience.
While talking about ratings and high numbers that the 69th Emmy Awards might achieve, he regretfully informed the audience that they had no way of knowing this with certainty. “Is there anyone who can say how big the audience is?” Colbert asked, and in walked ex-Press Secretary of the White House, Sean Spicer.
“This will be the largest audience to witness an Emmys, period, both in-person and around the world,” Spicer confirmed, referring to his infamous “alternative facts” statements made while at the White House.