While the world has been talking about the attack on Charlie Hebdo, Pakistanis were not interested in anything but cricketer-turned-politician-turned-messiah Imran Khan, who got married this week. Their diverted attention is understandable. It probably wouldn’t make sense for Pakistanis to use the #JeSuisCharlie hashtag, you know, because those cartoonists would have probably been executed under the country’s blasphemy laws if they chose to publish Charlie Hebdo in Pakistan.

Blasphemy and freedom of speech is not a conversation that Pakistanis are ready to have yet, as journalist Raza Rumi found out when he was targeted by gunmen. Conversations about Pakistan’s most handsome politician and his bride-to-be, on the other hand, can be had with aplomb, hence the hashtag #MerayKaptaanKiShadiHai, which itself became news.

It was "2015’s defining wedding shoot", as national newspaper Dawn described it.

Imran Khan, 62, married Reham Khan (no relation, well, until the wedding), 41, a Dawn News television anchor who formerly presented the weather on BBC.  Imran Khan had been leading protests for the better part of last year, aiming to dethrone Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif, whom Khan accuses of rigging the elections in 2013. The Daily Mail, known for its quality, hard-hitting journalism naturally broke the story on the marriage. In response Imran Khan did a CIA and neither confirmed nor denied the charges, instead saying that the reports were "greatly exaggerated", causing everybody to believe that he might have committed a little, but not a lot.



 



Eventually, Khan admitted to the marriage, and supporters of his Pakistan Tehreek-i-Insaf party were ecstatic.

 

 

 

A play on PTI’s slogan, tabdeeli aa nahi rahi, tabdeeli aa gayi hai! But perhaps the media celebrated more than anyone else. This was their moment, the defining wedding of 2015, and they were on it. As a massacre in Nigeria and a manhunt across France unfurled, the Pakistani media was busy breaking news about the menu at the wedding.


The menu: Chicken korma, chola biryani, naan, sweet rice. 


While tickers about the increasing death toll from the Boko Haram rampage was running on other news channels, Pakistani learnt that Reham ordered more dried dates for the wedding guests once they ran out.


After the dried dates ran out, Reham said “once more”, Mufti Saeed said. 


There were some loose ends. After all, Imran Khan’s ex-wife Jemima Khan might have to change her name. Messages of consolation and support poured in for Jemima, despite the fact that her marriage with Imran ended more than a decade ago, and the fact that she’s had relationships with other men, including actor Hugh Grant and comedian Russell Brand. Evidently one does not simply move on from Imran Khan.

 

There was intrigue too. Reham claimed that she was hesitant to marry again because of the abuse she suffered from her last husband, Dr Ijaz Rehman. He denied the accusations.

Unfortunately, those annoying Peshawar school attack victims had to spoil the party. In their magnanimity, Reham and Imran Khan went to the school where 141 children were killed last month, only to be booed by their parents.

Imran Khan shouldn’t be blamed for the attacks. As he said, he’s just the leader of the party that runs the province; he doesn’t actually run the province himself. And it was an army-controlled school. He didn’t run the school either. He was busy getting married; they should be happy! Why on earth are the victims’ families so upset about that?