I don’t know if asking for a “let the world change” wish makes any sense, at times when we are not enabled to see big dreams, when I pay for my sleep in cages. It is difficult to know which wish is big or small when some of those huge ones are trapped in the little ones, which are constantly gatekeeping any wish that I might have asked for.
I don’t know if I can wish for a world where I can wander the way I wish, when my wishes are not reduced to some few words on an application letter, left at the mercy of the wardens, the parents and the police. I wish I need not take permission and be treated as an equal to my male counterparts this year. And that these spaces terribly named and timed are free to accept me wander.
I wish for a world where I can know everything when I don’t have enough to buy my books nor am I allowed to photocopy them. I wish I could photocopy the books I want. I wish for a huge library where I can read anytime like the men of my age do.
I want to wish for being confident and independent, but I don’t know if I should. I am constantly prepared to fund my own education. I wish I had enough to sustain myself and not have to look up to a home that wants a marriage and a job. I hope that the University Grants Commission listens to us this year.
I want to become invisible and be my own self when I am constantly forced to wear, laugh, sit, talk, love only in a particular way. I wish those CCTV cameras would disappear. I wish to stay happily fat, and I wish I can eat anything.
I don’t know if I could wish that I could ask any question. Every time we tried that, it involved tear gas, water cannons and being beaten up on roads. Perhaps I wish that the police do not manhandle us from the coming year. I wish we are not threatened. I wish I am not scared.
I still don't understand what is more absurd, to post this wishlist to a god who can grant all of this, or to post my wish list to the "power-that-be that stands in front of us as rule books, batons, gates, cameras, walls and circulars .
I wish that we are understood soon.
