You probably have the model that the universe is a vast entity that does not know you exist and is indifferent to your wants and needs. Sometimes you might extend this to feel that occasionally the universe wakes up and makes it its business to frustrate you in every way possible. Most of us have some variation of this model. It’s not a particularly happy place to be at. How about we try a new mental model. The benevolent universe model. In this model, the universe is a conscious entity. It is aware of you and well disposed towards you. It is all powerful. It organises itself so that it always gives you everything that you need, everything that is good for you, at precisely the moment that you need it. Have you ever seen the Cirque du Soleil performance? There is a huge stage and every section of it is occupied. The aerialist goes up on her bar, leaves it, turns a dizzying array of acrobatics and just as she is about to fall, another bar is there for her to grasp. The universe is exactly like that. It knows what you need and gives it to you at precisely the right time.
Now remember that what you want is not necessarily what is best for you or what you need. Children may want a tub of ice cream, but a wise parent will provide vegetables. When you adopt this model, there are no tragedies in your life. There are no misfortunes. There are only lessons which have been provided to you appropriately, at exactly the correct moment. Pause for a second to consider this model and all its ramifications.
Now let’s consider something else. It will be readily obvious to you that even if the model just proposed – the benevolent universe model – was completely false and utter balderdash, if you believed that it was true, your life would be considerably improved. It really doesn’t matter whether it is “true” or “untrue”. If you believed it was true and acted accordingly, your life would be considerably more bearable, more full of happiness, more full of hope and joy. If the universe is impersonal and indifferent then all the things that happen to you, which you label bad, are random events, so you are at the mercy of unthinking, unknowing, unpredictable forces. This is not a very pleasant universe to live in. But if you believe in the benevolent universe model, there are no tragedies, nothing bad ever happens to you. True, there are some things that you would rather not have happened to you, but you understand that in some way these teach you a lesson and these lessons will lead to greater growth and take you to a place of greater fulfilment and more happiness. And you know this, you know it deeply. And therefore, you do not resent what other persons might term tragedies. You learn from them, and you move on. This is a considerably more inspiring and joyous place to live in.
So when we talked about surrender in a previous chapter, we surrender to a force more powerful, more knowledgeable than us. I am now suggesting that we surrender to the benevolent universe, which is not only more powerful, not only more knowledgeable, but thoroughly well disposed towards us. Like a fond parent, it arranges itself so that it brings all manner of good things into our life. It does not allow us to confront anything which in any way would impede our growth or harm us. Nothing that happens to us can possibly be bad.
The problem is that even if we intellectually recognise that this model is a far better one for us to adopt than the one we presently use, this doesn’t mean that we can adopt it. We cannot force ourselves to believe something, but we can allow that belief to arise in us. Would you like to believe in the benevolent universe model?
Here is some homework for you. Once again get your journal. Open it to a fresh page and put down the heading “The Benevolent Universe”. Go back over your life and think of a situation which you labelled bad. At the time, you were convinced that this was an unmitigated disaster. Perhaps you now have a slightly different perspective, or perhaps you still think of it as bad. Recall it to mind and then play around with the possibility that it was good.
Quite possibly you will not be able to accept that it was completely good but be open to the possibility that there were good aspects to it. See how these play out.
One of my students was carrying a heavy baggage of guilt over the death of his son. His son died in a tragic accident while quite young. When he tried this exercise, he was immediately able to recognise that as a result of this tragedy, he had an unusual ability to empathize with others who were coping with personal tragedies. In his off hours, he was a counsellor and extraordinarily effective in helping families come to terms with their loss and move on with life. He can now readily accept that his own personal tragedy enabled him to grow and be more effective in helping others.
Now think of your life and all the situations that you are confronting. Mentally, you’ve already labelled some of them as good, some of them as bad, and some of them as neutral. Throw this basket aside. Think of everything that has happened, is happening, will happen in your life as good. Embrace each and every event and outcome and then move forward from there. If you still find it too difficult, don’t beat yourself up. Keep copious notes in your journal. Each time you confront something which you would have labelled as bad, put a question mark instead of the label ‘bad’ and then see the ways in which it is actually beneficial to you and is helping you grow. Do this also with the major events in your past. See how they helped you grow. See how they cumulatively brought you to the place where you are today. See how these events engendered a spiritual awakening in you. Let all of this seep in.
Excerpted with permission from The Seventh Jar: Your Path to Personal Mastery and Success, Srikumar Rao, Bloomsbury India.
