Dear Sir,
I have read many of the books published by your esteemed publishing house, and I have enjoyed all of them. I must compliment you for quality of selection. Today, I am presenting you a proposal through which nation will also benefit, and revenue will also increase.
Due to persecution of Valentine Day and increasing restriction on clothing, romance in India is suffering. As it is, our supply is very limited. Many young men are not getting any romance. As a result they are frustrated. They are feeling jealousy. Misguided by political leaders, they are assaulting those who are kissing, and protesting against coupling in parks. Consequently, the supply of romance is reducing even more, thus further reducing the chances of the frustrated young men for finding love. This is not logical. If they are suffering from lack of romance, should they not be encouraging it? If romance flowers across nation, will their chances also not increase?
We must not be impatient with young people. Sometimes they carry weapons, and law and order situation is bad. Instead, we should try to improve society. We can achieve this by spreading a culture of romance. Therefore I am suggesting a romantic novel series, which is in the national interest, and also will entertain the youth. Chetan Bhagat cannot write everything, as he is only one person. In addition to novels, he has to provide advice and guidance to youth through national newspapers, as also twittering. It is not fair to put all the burden on him. Others must also contribute.
Therefore I am proposing a romance series. I have carefully studied this field. Most romance writers in foreign countries are ladies, but here big ones are gents. They are young and slightly plump. I am also young and slightly plump. They have had bad experiences in the past involving death and rejection. I have come close to death on many occasions, and suffered a lot of rejection. This makes me a very suitable candidate.
Now coming to other technicalities. My study has revealed that successful romance novels summarize the plot in the title. In this way, public clearly knows what it is purchasing. First book in my series will be called My Love Ran AwayTM, in which the girl I love will run away.
In the first part of the book, I fall in love. In the second part of the book, she runs away. This is not because of body odour, or any crude statement made by me, but because of Destiny.
We are both students in a management institute, giving the story a contemporary feeling. She is rich girl. I am poor boy. She has bodyguards with guns.
Early on in first volume, I stalk her in a romantic and playful way, sometimes pulling her dupatta, and at other times kissing her from the back side, until subsequently, I am beaten up by her bodyguards, who are large men from interior of Bihar. She is quite used to this, but there is something in the way I am beaten up that touches her heart. Unable to help herself, she comes to nursing home.
Despite dizziness due to medication, on the spot, I compose a poem for her. She falls in love with me. In this way, we promote, not just romance, but also poetry. Subsequently, there is humour section, where we as a young couple use many tips and tricks to avoid her guards and do romance. I am not sure how much doing there should be. Kindly provide guidance. If you like, I will add more masala.
Other characters will also be there, such as one sympathetic professor of marketing, and one CBI agent. CBI agent is mysterious, and his reasons for investigation are never revealed. In this way, we maintain suspense for volume two. Volume one ends when, mysteriously, with no explanation, she runs away, and my heart is broken.
Volume two will be called My Love Came BackTM, in which she returns. At this time, I am working for PepsiTM. Only now do we realise that she had earlier run away because her father is mafia don from Dhanbad, who will brutally kill any person who spoils her daughter. Hence she was trying to protect me.
Situation is very unique. Because she loves me, she cannot love me. In the movie version, girl could be Sonakshi Sinha, and father could be Shatrughan, mixing reality and fiction in a unique and memorable way. But despite risk to my life, she cannot resist me, particularly after I handle Ranbir Kapoor very tactfully during shooting of PepsiTM TV commercial.
Rest of book is full of light humour and hot romance, until the news is received that khap panchayat has given adverse ruling, and girl’s father is coming to Delhi with shotgun. Book ends on note of suspense. Faced with this danger, what will we do?
Third book is called, My Love Ran Away….Again!TM In this volume, once more she runs away, but because I love her, I do not get irritated. Plus, I am getting used to it. Instead I try to find solution.
Her father comes, and initially I am tied to chair and beaten severely, although some of the bodyguards are saddened by this, because by now they are my friends. Unfortunately for them, it’s a question of duty.
Nevertheless, I apply my mind and I am able to convince father, using my intelligence. I point out that his daughter has run away, and at this point in time, unknown third parties could be getting fresh with her. Is it not better, I point out, that known third party such as myself should indulge in such activities?
Inside, the don is actually a very warm-hearted person, and he is convinced by this. We become very close, and decide that together we will search for this girl, whom we both love in a very obsessive and intimate way, and who has mysteriously run away, giving no reason or explanation.
The fourth book in the series will be called Has Anyone Seen My Love?TM in which story will come to conclusion, with many heart-touching scenes and small amount of sex and violence. Amount can vary, depending on your requirement.
This can be a highly original and successful series, contrasting the rich and the poor, the truth and the fiction, and the bold and the beautiful. In addition, it will feature popular elements such as management institutes, PepsiTM, and Shatrughan Sinha.
Success is practically guaranteed. All I require is huge advance money, so that I feel happy and inspired before writing. The nation will also benefit. We will be fighting the enemies of romance, and ensuring the victory of love. Because at the end of the day, without love, who are we?
I am sure my proposal will see a positive response. Please let me know who to send my bank details, in order for you to do the needful.
Yours Affectionately,
Shovon Chowdhury