My first brush with porn was when I was 13 years old. I walked into my home to find my brother’s friends agape in front of a film. The woman in the film was fat and hairy. She lay fully dressed on the bed, coy and giggly, hands raised shyly above her head. The only abandonment she possessed was of her underarm hair, showcased in all its mighty glory. A bare-chested chap kissed her quivering belly button persistently, as if trying to find treasure inside it. Kabutar Ja Ja Ja, the song from the era’s most popular movie played scratchily in the background.

Fortunately, since those troubled times, porn has drastically improved in India. For me and for the millions of other women who watch porn.

Despite our reputation as a conservative nation, estimates suggest that around 30% of porn viewers in India are women. Our women are watching more porn than anyone else in the world – with the exception of the mighty Brazilians. Why? For the same reasons as men. It’s simple, easy, stimulating and quick.

Many of my married female friends confess that they sleep with their husbands perhaps once every quarter, if at all. It gets worse when they have children. They have sexual desires but don’t want to cheat. For single women, it’s because they don't want to develop a reputation for sleeping around.

Now here’s the interesting bit: women not only watch porn but they’re already bored of it.

Playing to male fantasies

Understandably so. Porn around the world is largely misogynistic. It caters to the pleasure of men as it’s based on the assumption that men will watch it. So, of course, women in porn are objectified. Their bodies are emphasised. Men are shown as disembodied penises. Where are the taut male bodies? Where is the eye candy for female viewers?

Female pleasure, desires or needs are completely disregarded in porn. Women are treated as sexual conquests, underscored by their mistreatment and subjugation. If women are not shown as having fun or a personality, why would other women watch?

It doesn’t help that porn is also phony and mechanical, with choreographed moves, fake moaning and feigned orgasms.

Women have finally started demanding more out of things: jobs, husbands, equality and lingerie. Perhaps it’s time someone stepped up the ante for porn as well.