Historically, women have refrained from making the first move when it comes to dating - reasons being societal stigma, safety and convention. But it’s 2020 and saying that the world has changed would be an understatement. Women are becoming increasingly comfortable with the idea of taking control and leading their lives independently.

Making the first move is never easy for women. Their judgement can be clouded by the fear of being judged. Not only could they be perceived as ‘forthcoming’ or ‘loose’, but also be excluded from the circle of ‘cultured’ women. But making the first move can be advantageous, and in doing so, they are more likely to engage with someone who may reciprocate their feelings and spend valuable time getting to know people of their choice. This not only reduces the burden on men, but also increases women’s confidence in building their personal life their own way.

A great place to start is online dating. Social networking applications like Bumble have created safe spaces for women to build relationships. Bumble enables women to make the first move, by putting in essential safety protocols founded on the pillars of consent, choice and comfort. While social media and the internet have proved to be nasty and insensitive frequently, online dating has the potential to shift power dynamics by allowing women to accept, reject and explore their choices without venturing out until they feel safe and comfortable.

A recent Bumble study revealed that 78 percent of single Indians feel the need to trust their match before meeting them in real life. In the current times, building trust and safety will be all the more instrumental in convincing women to take the next step. Bumble has taken some measures in this direction. Every member has to pledge adherence to Bumble’s community guidelines and failure to abide by it may result in losing access to the platform. It also shows only the first initial of the woman’s name to potential matches until she decides to reveal her identity. Additional features like blocking and reporting and AI-backed private detectors are embedded to emphasize zero tolerance for inappropriate behaviour. These efforts are a positive development for women, encouraging them to embark on the journey of finding a partner.

Here are five ways in which women can successfully make the first move in online dating:

1) Keep it simple: While initiating a conversation, it doesn’t always have to be fancy or rehearsed. It’s alright to keep it simple, and lift the pressure off from going all out. The final goal is to convey your interest, and there’s no better way than to simply say what’s on your mind.

2) Lighten it up: Humour is a sure shot winner. Any possible nervousness reduces with a flavour of humour. In fact, a joke can also be a great conversation starter. Tickle those funny bones for a great start!

3) Compliment whenever possible: Genuine compliments show appreciation, admiration and respect. If someone’s qualities or actions please you, appreciating them will convey your keen interest in their lives, and empower them simultaneously.

4) Ask the right questions: Asking about profession, hobbies, travel stories, etc. are easy conversation starters. This information is also available in bios. But avoid asking very personal questions immediately and keep an eye out for any apparent discomfort towards any specific topics. Bumble’s Question Game feature allows you to get to know him/her better by mutually answering questions, wherein both can shuffle questions until you find one you like, or type your own. Both you and your match have to respond before either’s answer is revealed. It’s a sure-fire way to find common ground, or spark a healthy debate/discussion.

5) Honesty is always the best policy: Be upfront about your thoughts and feelings when forming bonds. Your behaviour can be perceived differently, leading to people getting led on or even feeling neglected. If you sense something being off, or are not keen to pursue things any further, be sure to let him/her know.

2020 may have ruined a lot of plans, but even in these times as we navigate the new rules of dating, no other time is as great as now to take charge of your dating journeys and find meaningful relationships.

This is a partnered post.