Is there any group in India that has missed out on the great offence sweepstakes? If you have, here's a handy guide on how to jump on board.

First scan the news websites and trending topics to see if there's anything attached to any sort of identity (Hindus, vegetarians, plumbers, residents of Kurla) or anyone saying anything that isn't a platitude ('I'm feeling threatened,' 'there's too much pollution out,' 'there's a fly in my soup'). Next quickly connect either of these things to some sort of outrage (anti-religion, anti-Kurla, anti-soup flies), start complaining on social media and voila, you'll manage to get a headline out of it.


Innocuous headline: Hard Kaur comes out with her new single 'Aise karte hai party'. But listen to the lyrics and you'll find a few opportunities for outrage. Remember when barbers complained about the title of a Shah Rukh Khan film called, um, Billu Barber? The very best example of this sort of outrage came from a public interest litigation filed against Yo Yo Honey Singh's 'Party All Night', which complained about it insulting everyone from the police to old aunties to Haryana's state bird, the partridge.

Already tired of being told what to do by the ubiquitous Badshah song, disc jockeys now feel that Hard Kaur's new single is the last straw. The song, an odd, overly produced mish-mash of tunes and some rapping with the usual nods to daru and partying all night, includes the lines, "jaldi baja tu saale" (play it immediately) and "nahi toh doon kaan ke neeche." (or I'll slap you).

The Hindustan Times decided to pick up on the fact that DJs aren't quite happy about this use of poetic licence. "Aise Karte Hain Party by Hard Kaur is an insult to us: DJs" reads the headline in the newspaper, with the story full of quotes by DJs saying it is a "personal attack" and an "insult."

The fact that it's a Hindustan Times story pointing out issues with a song that just so happened to be released by Times Music, owned by the same company that publishes the Times of India, surely has nothing to do with it.

Hard Kaur's stream-of-consciousness response to the newspaper, however, is worth repeating almost in full: "I never thought they (DJs) will react like this. I don’t know what is wrong with our country. I’m tired of explaining myself. Don’t tell me what I am doing. I have been doing this for a long time. People who don’t have any work are doing this against me. The best DJs in the country perform with me. So, don’t use me. Get a life. Get some talent."