This year’s G20 summit will present a timely opportunity to the leaders of the emerging economies like US, Australia and Europe to interact and get close and personal with the architect of the highly advanced economy of Gujarat, Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi.
This meeting will also present an important opportunity for the Indian prime minister to talk about his close ties with Australia. Modi ccould express his love for Australia by talking about his friendly encounters with cuddly kangaroos and koalas deep in the Jungles of Gir.
Although the streets of Brisbane are expected to be filled with protestors, it is important to note that these protests are directed against the Western leaders who have failed to apply the Gujarat Model to their economies.
Since the G20 summit is in Brisbane, Modi could take advantage of the crocodile-infested rivers of Queensland to practice crocodile wrestling, a sport he was really good at when he was a kid. Queensland is also known as the cradle of civilisation in Australia. Modi must take care that he ends his every sentence with the sound “aye’”. For example, “Wow, what a beautiful day…aye.” Failing to end the sentence with “aye” may be seen as rude by local Queenslanders.
The beer is excellent
The most iconic place to visit in Brisbane is the XXXX brewery (Yes XXXX is the actual name). A true Maroon Queenslander consumes XXXX beer before learning to drink water. The chemical composition of XXXX beer hasn’t changed since India and Australia were joined together as a super continent of Gondwana. This is likely to change after Modi explains his “5% juice” formula to the brewers. This will be remembered as PM Modi’s gift to Australia for time immemorial.
While Canberra is known as the Capital of Australia it is a little-known fact that Canberra is the Round-About capital of the world. There are approximately 40 Round-Abouts in every square kilometre of Canberra. The roads of Canberra are specially designed to ensure that politicians get ample practice in taking about-turns. Modi will find the roads of Canberra quite pleasing. While in Canberra, Modi should visit Questacon, a museum dedicated to science, where he could deliver a speech on genetic cloning techniques invented in ancient India.
Canberra is also world famous for the suburb of Fyshwick (pronounced as Fish-Wick) which is crammed with sex shops that are known to sell more sex toys than the sex shops of the whole southern hemisphere combined. It is worth a secret trip.
Here is a pro tip for the prime minister. Canberra bashing is Australia’s national sport. Australians (except Canberrans) will love anyone who jokes about Canberra. Also throw in a few sheep jokes about New Zealand and you are the most loved person in Australia. Each year more than 160,000 children from around Australia visit Canberra on a school excursion to understand how a city should not be.
Sydney's like home
Modi will feel at home in Sydney, which is popular for its race riots and beaches (more beaches than riots, though). Sydney is also known for the ongoing clash of civilisation between the Yuppies and the Bogans. Yuppies are sophisticated urban dwellers found in the eastern suburbs of Sydney. Yuppies can be easily spotted due to their rather vocal expression of love for wine, arts and fine dining. Bogans occupy the western lands of Sydney. They are known for their love of beer, junk food, cars, slangs, slurs and tattoos. Modi is well placed to negotiate peace between these two warring civilisations because his humble roots will appeal to Bogans and his love for designer clothing will appeal to Yuppies.
Between the great divide of east and the west of Sydney lies the suburb or Parramatta, which is almost entirely populated with Gujaratis. Commuters often identify the Parramatta because of the overpowering odour of spices that lingers in the area. Legend has it that Parramatta gets its name from “Param Mata”, the highest goddess of Aboriginals who migrated from India to Australia 40,000 years ago. Parramatta is also famous for its iconic food joints that serve veggie steak and veggie lamb chops along with the popular veggie sausages.
Lastly it is important that Modi carries appropriate gifts for the host. The Australian leader Tony Abbott loves Budgie Smugglers and he can’t have enough of them. A budgie smuggler is a tight fitting Speedo-style swimwear traditionally used by Australians to smuggle exotic Australian parakeets. I hope Prime Minister Modi enjoys his visit to Australia and does all the touristy things like surfing, sunbathing and getting wasted on Bondi beach.
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This meeting will also present an important opportunity for the Indian prime minister to talk about his close ties with Australia. Modi ccould express his love for Australia by talking about his friendly encounters with cuddly kangaroos and koalas deep in the Jungles of Gir.
Although the streets of Brisbane are expected to be filled with protestors, it is important to note that these protests are directed against the Western leaders who have failed to apply the Gujarat Model to their economies.
Since the G20 summit is in Brisbane, Modi could take advantage of the crocodile-infested rivers of Queensland to practice crocodile wrestling, a sport he was really good at when he was a kid. Queensland is also known as the cradle of civilisation in Australia. Modi must take care that he ends his every sentence with the sound “aye’”. For example, “Wow, what a beautiful day…aye.” Failing to end the sentence with “aye” may be seen as rude by local Queenslanders.
The beer is excellent
The most iconic place to visit in Brisbane is the XXXX brewery (Yes XXXX is the actual name). A true Maroon Queenslander consumes XXXX beer before learning to drink water. The chemical composition of XXXX beer hasn’t changed since India and Australia were joined together as a super continent of Gondwana. This is likely to change after Modi explains his “5% juice” formula to the brewers. This will be remembered as PM Modi’s gift to Australia for time immemorial.
While Canberra is known as the Capital of Australia it is a little-known fact that Canberra is the Round-About capital of the world. There are approximately 40 Round-Abouts in every square kilometre of Canberra. The roads of Canberra are specially designed to ensure that politicians get ample practice in taking about-turns. Modi will find the roads of Canberra quite pleasing. While in Canberra, Modi should visit Questacon, a museum dedicated to science, where he could deliver a speech on genetic cloning techniques invented in ancient India.
Canberra is also world famous for the suburb of Fyshwick (pronounced as Fish-Wick) which is crammed with sex shops that are known to sell more sex toys than the sex shops of the whole southern hemisphere combined. It is worth a secret trip.
Here is a pro tip for the prime minister. Canberra bashing is Australia’s national sport. Australians (except Canberrans) will love anyone who jokes about Canberra. Also throw in a few sheep jokes about New Zealand and you are the most loved person in Australia. Each year more than 160,000 children from around Australia visit Canberra on a school excursion to understand how a city should not be.
Sydney's like home
Modi will feel at home in Sydney, which is popular for its race riots and beaches (more beaches than riots, though). Sydney is also known for the ongoing clash of civilisation between the Yuppies and the Bogans. Yuppies are sophisticated urban dwellers found in the eastern suburbs of Sydney. Yuppies can be easily spotted due to their rather vocal expression of love for wine, arts and fine dining. Bogans occupy the western lands of Sydney. They are known for their love of beer, junk food, cars, slangs, slurs and tattoos. Modi is well placed to negotiate peace between these two warring civilisations because his humble roots will appeal to Bogans and his love for designer clothing will appeal to Yuppies.
Between the great divide of east and the west of Sydney lies the suburb or Parramatta, which is almost entirely populated with Gujaratis. Commuters often identify the Parramatta because of the overpowering odour of spices that lingers in the area. Legend has it that Parramatta gets its name from “Param Mata”, the highest goddess of Aboriginals who migrated from India to Australia 40,000 years ago. Parramatta is also famous for its iconic food joints that serve veggie steak and veggie lamb chops along with the popular veggie sausages.
Lastly it is important that Modi carries appropriate gifts for the host. The Australian leader Tony Abbott loves Budgie Smugglers and he can’t have enough of them. A budgie smuggler is a tight fitting Speedo-style swimwear traditionally used by Australians to smuggle exotic Australian parakeets. I hope Prime Minister Modi enjoys his visit to Australia and does all the touristy things like surfing, sunbathing and getting wasted on Bondi beach.
