Less or more?
On the Diderot Effect and conscious consumption
Denis Diderot, the French philosopher behind one of the first encyclopaedias, spent most of his life in poverty. That is until Catherine the Great of Russia bought his encyclopaedia collection, suddenly making him a wealthy man.
What did Diderot do with his newfound wealth? He bought himself a luxurious new robe.
And that’s where it all began.
Once he had the robe, his old chair looked shabby in comparison, so he bought a new one. The new chair made the rest of his furniture seem outdated, so he upgraded his entire study. Then he needed new rugs, new decor and on and on it went, until he found himself trapped in a cycle of endless consumption.
This phenomenon, now known as the Diderot Effect, explains why one small purchase can trigger a domino effect, leading us to acquire more than we ever intended.
Have you experienced this? You buy a nice dress and now you need nice shoes or a bag to match. You move into a larger house and now you need more stuff to put inside it.
We live in an age of abundance. There are more career paths, lifestyle options, entertainment choices and consumer goods than ever before. Logically, you’d think this would make us happier. But as research shows, this often has the opposite effect.
For one, more choices lead to decision fatigue – the more options we have, the harder it is to decide. Two, even if you make a choice, you experience some amount of dissatisfaction as you wonder if you made the best choice. Barry Schwartz calls this the Paradox of Choice – having more options doesn’t make us more content – it often makes us more anxious.
Could there be a better way?
I am learning to cultivate what I like to call the “Reverse Diderot Effect”.
Years ago, frustrated by mindless consumption, I made a radical decision. I stopped shopping for clothes entirely. What started as a short-term challenge turned into five years of not buying a single new outfit. It was difficult at first but over time it became a core part of my identity and I started to take great pride in living consciously.
Instead of accumulating more, I began upcycling by revamping old sarees into new outfits. Almost every speaking engagement I’ve had in the last five years, I’ve done in an upcycled piece of clothing.
And you know what? I’ve never felt freer.
With fewer clothes I had less need for accessories to go with my clothes. With less time spent on shopping, I had more time for other activities like reading. With fewer resources spent on clothes, I could invest in things with more lasting value to power my own learning and development.
With less mental bandwidth used for deciding what to wear every day, I could focus on more important decisions such as how to expand my business to serve more women.
Here are three ways in which you can overcome the Diderot Effect and reclaim your mental and emotional space. One, start with small, self-imposed limits – try going just one month without shopping. Two, eliminate triggers – unfollow people or accounts that encourage mindless consumption. Three, adopt a “buy one, give one” strategy – whenever you buy something new, aim to give something away, especially to those who need it.
The most precious piece of real estate you have is your mind. The fewer distractions you allow in, the more space you create for clarity, purpose and joy.
My question for you: Where in your life can you reverse the Diderot Effect?
Fact or story?
On reframing your thoughts for clarity
I was sitting at a coffee shop recently when I spotted someone I hadn’t seen in a while. I was quite pleased to see her. When she looked in my direction, I excitedly smiled and waved at her. But she didn’t wave back. In fact, she walked right past me.
Immediately my mind started spinning: Did I do something to upset her? Maybe she doesn’t like me anymore. Maybe I should have kept in touch more. I must have spent the next several minutes caught in this loop, trying to figure out why she had ignored me.
Have you had something similar happen to you? As you try to make sense of a situation, your thoughts weave a story – one that doesn’t serve you well.
We do this all the time. You send an email and don’t get a response. Your mind jumps to: They must think my request isn’t important.
You present an idea in a meeting and someone looks distracted. Your mind whispers: They must find my ideas boring.
You invite a friend out and they cancel last minute. The story you tell yourself? They don’t value our friendship as much as I do.
Our minds are story-making machines. We are conditioned to create a story, any story, just to make sense of the world. But in the absence of actual information about what the truth really is, it doesn’t help to be spinning these stories. Often these stories – while compelling – aren’t true.
So how do we stop ourselves from going down a rabbit hole of blame or shame in these situations? Dr Amishi Jha, author of Peak Mind, offers two powerful questions to break this cycle.
What do I know for sure? Strip away all assumptions and stick only to the verifiable facts.
What is the story I am telling myself? Acknowledge that your interpretation is just one of many possibilities.
When I applied these questions to my coffee shop experience, here’s what I knew for sure: I saw someone I knew. She appeared to look in my direction. I waved. She did not appear to wave back. That was it. Everything else – my assumptions, my interpretations – was a story I had created.
Also, I realised there were countless reasons she may not have acknowledged me. Maybe she didn’t actually see me. Maybe she was lost in thought. Maybe she was having a bad day.
As soon as I dropped the story I had created, I felt calmer.
This doesn’t mean we ignore important signals. Sometimes we do need to get clarity. If your boss hasn’t responded to an important email, instead of assuming the worst, you can follow up. If you’re unsure how your idea landed in a meeting, you can ask for feedback.
But jumping to conclusions rarely serves us. The reality is that most people are too absorbed in their own worlds to be as focused on us as we think they are.
Here is an exercise I’d like to leave you with: At any point today, if you catch yourself overthinking a situation or interaction, I encourage you to consciously ask these two questions:
What do I know for sure?
What is a story I am telling myself?
It just might set you free.
Excerpted with permission from The Conscious Choice: 100 Ideas for Living and Leading Mindfully, Bhavna Toor, Pan Macmillan India.
