A few years ago, I began blogging about the funny things that my child did or said. I shared these stories with my friends and was overwhelmed by their responses. Mothers resonated with these anecdotes and had their own to add. This inspired me to compile my stories into something bigger, leading to the creation of Parenting Unplugged: The Drama Mama Diaries.
Parenting has been an adventure beyond my wildest dreams. After labour, I assumed that the hard part was over, but I was mistaken. In hospitals and labour wards, wherever women choose to give birth, not only a child but also a parent is born. Modern mothers face the pressures of managing work and home, maintaining that perfect social media profile, and raising well-behaved, emotional, and sensitive children. It is a wonder how we manage to keep our sanity intact at all. I must admit that there are times when I want to throw in the towel. However, we, the role models, are barred from such unruly behaviour. We must fold the towel neatly and store it away while hopping onto the next item on our never-ending to-do lists.
This book is a collection of the conversations that I have had over the years with my little human. While some of these discussions have entertained and amused me, others have been major revelations. Every innocent remark, significant observation, or comic escapade is a memory to cherish forever, making me a better mother in this bizarre world of modern parenting.
When the going gets tough, and you think you are depleted of all your energy, all it takes for an instant recharge is a sloppy kiss from Junior. Voilà! All negativity vanishes. Who knew that a tiny human being could help us discover reservoirs of energy we never knew existed?
There are also days when one stumbles. On one occasion, I was convinced that I must be competing for “the worst mother of all time”. I spoke to other parents who expressed their solidarity with me. “We have all been there!” they said reassuringly. That’s when I experienced my Eureka moment! Why not share my parenting stories with the world and inject a bit of humour to make the ride a lot more fun and interesting?
Parenting Unplugged chronicles my parenting experiences from when my daughter was born until she turned nine and counting. Rather than a parenting guide, this book focuses on humour for the harried mother’s soul. This collection isn’t arranged in any specific chronological order. I hope these random anecdotes will bring a smile to your face. What’s life without a little drama and lots of laughs?
Like many people my age, I constantly crave validation, and it doesn’t matter where it comes from – it could be from social media, friends, family, a stranger, or even my child. Once, in a sudden fit of Amma-needs-validation-itis, I asked Munchkin,
Me: “Do you know where Amma works?”
Child: “Sure! You make soap.”
Technically, I didn’t manufacture the soap, but I did work as a finance manager for a hygiene brand.
Me: “But what does Amma do at work?”
I expected her to say something like helping people with calculations or managing money.
Child: “You wash your hands with soap.”
Me: “Eh? Err, that can’t be right. Sometimes, I work from home, too. What do I do then?”
Child: “You wash your hands from home!”
If I worked for a laundry brand, would she have assumed that my job was to wash clothes at the office? What about a toilet cleaning brand?
While this exchange may have done nothing to boost my confidence, there have been other uplifting interactions. On another day, I was going through a low phase, professionally and personally. My project was delayed, the little one had just recovered from illness, and the house was disordered and as haggard as I looked. I couldn’t recognise the person staring back at me in the mirror. I was out of shape, tired, and, in general, a massive mess.
Munchkin walked up to me, put my arms around me and said, “My Amma! Princess!”
She had adulation on her face and her eyes twinkled. That’s when it struck me; it didn’t matter how dishevelled I looked. I would always be beautiful to her. (Well, at least until the teenage years when she discovers makeup and criticism.)
Building a strong support system is necessary for women trying to balance taking care of young children and managing careers. There will be loads of unsolicited advice coming your way, as it did in my case.
Diapers? Don’t you care about the environment at all? Use cloth!
Pumping? Try to feed the baby directly!
In my days, we did things differently!
I’m sure you must have heard at least one of the above statements in your lifetime. These are things that I refer to as “atmospheric disturbances”, which multiply your stress. Can you guess what the best stress buster is? No, it’s not bonding with the infant – that’s stressful too! It’s cancelling out the noise, reacting less and breathing more. (That way, noise-cancelling headphones help, too.)
Over the years, I have had to make tough decisions, career-wise. On some occasions, I have had to step back. At other times, I have had to leave that networking dinner early to avoid missing my child’s bedtime. This meant that my chances of being in the running for that elusive promotion reduced. But I’ve never had any room for regret because, in the end, it all evened out, like it always does.
Nothing beats the satisfaction of hearing the words, “My Amma! Princess!”
Excerpted with permission from Parenting Unplugged: The Drama Mama Diaries, Lalitha Ramanathan, Om Books International.
