Amit, our hero is standing on the stone platform on the bank of the Narmada River. He looks up at the North Star that appears in the night sky and has a flashback. He remembers the time when he stood there with his beloved at the moment when they had exchanged their vows.
The little temple in the middle of the Narmada River in Maheshwar, is said to be the one spot on Planet Earth where the North Star shines down permanently in a perpendicular angle on our planet in the middle of the river. For the marriage of Shiva and Parvati it is said, the only witness that they require for the consecration of their vows, is the North Star as it is the symbol of consistency. It is also the spot where both Amit and his partner have integrated their respective male and female potential. This is why this little temple in the middle of the river, is dedicated to the great god Shiva and his partner Parvati.
Amit and Najeeb stand together, holding hands. They have decided to leave the world of ordinary rules. They can no longer remain indefinitely in the comfort zone of the ordinary world. It is a call to adventure, the first encounter with a special power that gives them the courage to act. As in the myth of the Hero’s Journey, they are set to confront the challenge that constricts their destiny, and then to move in the direction they hope to find. Caught as they are in the quagmire of their familial and cultural collective consciousness, they want to take life into their own hands and lead a life of their choice and not the one that is decided for them by their elders.
How has it come to this? Amit and Najeeb work in the film industry together. Amit comes from an established upper-class Hindu family. He is the son of a film producer, and his parents have great hopes for him taking the company forward. Najeeb comes from a lower-middle-class Muslim family. He has worked hard all his life to reach his present position. He works as an assistant to Amit. Najeeb worships Amit. His light-hearted and funny disposition helps Amit not to take life so seriously. Together they make an excellent team.
Yet Amit seems to be disturbed about something but is unable to verbalise his dilemma. He grew up as an introverted single child, an avid reader and intellectually precocious. He has issues with his body and hated physical activities in his school years, leaving him as an overweight teenager.
Amit’s parents have suggested that he marry the daughter of their close friends. The girl Rajeshwari was Amit’s childhood friend, but during his teen years he lost touch with her as he had no interest in romance. He had not discovered his sexual tendencies and having grown up in a homophobic culture, he did not question himself why he was not attracted to the female sex.
Therefore, at the next stage there develops the fear of the unknown, also the fear of committing an offence to the “natural” order of things, as they are set in a traditional culture. Thus, our hero expresses his reluctance to get involved in any relationship by falling into a depression.
Najeeb realises Amit’s state of mind. Late one evening, as he takes leave from Amit after their long workday, he holds him in a warm embrace. He consoles him by saying that whatever is disturbing him, he will be his best friend no matter what and will stand by him. This first close physical contact triggers a sexual arousal in Amit, whose homophobic barriers are suddenly breached. He reciprocates Najeeb’s embrace but is still unaware of the mind/body split in his psyche.
He is greatly disturbed by this sudden discovery and gets even more confused. He decides to see a psychotherapist to be able to deal with this sudden eruption in his life. Because of his therapy sessions, he is slowly able to understand the reason for his depression and confusion.
The relationship with a mentor is a common theme in mythology. It is similar to the bond between parent and child, teacher and student. The function of the mentor is to prepare the hero for the unknown, giving guidance and awakening an inner strength that prepares him to act. Thus, the mentor awakens the inner conscience of the hero and instils in him the courage for a renewal. S/he warns him that he may have to face his life’s adventures alone and lures him out of the collective conditioning and cultural patterns that are the source of his depression.
Excerpted with permission from Courage to Be You: Love, Identity and Healing in a Changing India, Rashna Imhalsy-Gandhy, Speaking Tiger Books.
