“What do you do on the days when you don’t have college, I mean on holidays?”
“Nothing really.”
“I didn’t get you. What do you do? After all, the days of college race by.”
“No, it’s not exactly like that.”
“Then how is it? That’s what I’d like to know. Of course, if you have any objection to telling me, then let it be; you don’t have to tell me.”
“No, no, it’s nothing like that. Actually…”
“Actually, you don’t even like to talk to me.”
“Arey, no, no…”
“Actually, you don’t even like to talk…”
“Perhaps that’s partly true.”
“Why partly? It’s entirely true.”
“No, it’s not entirely true. Actually… actually, I’ve lost the habit of talking to anyone but myself.”
“I know.”
“You don’t know anything.”
“I love this notion of yours that I don’t know anything. And so, I get some more time to get to know you.”
“Who on earth am I? And I don’t understand why you want to know me.”
“If nothing else, I’ve at least been your flatmate for the last one and a half years. You surely agree about that? Or is it that you don’t even see me as an equal?”
“Of course not; why would that be? Actually, in the last one and a half years, you have been in this flat for no more than a month and a half, all told. And to tell the truth, your work, your movements, your way of life, and so on – at least so far as I could make out – are all so alien to me, or I should say to my imagination, that I had no interest in any of that.”
“Let it be, I’m most fortunate today.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, right in the morning I could get you to agree to sit and have tea with me!”
“Look, whatever you may think of me, I’m going to sleep all day today. If I feel like it, I’ll get up in the evening and cook, or else I’ll eat instant noodles.”
“So, tell me, Tinni, do you like being alone all the time?”
“Alone? How am I alone? I’m together with quite a few ‘I’s all the time. The friendships, love affairs, and quarrels go on between them all the time. I get tired resolving those. So how am I alone? By the way, where did you get to know this name of mine? Nobody in Bombay knows that. And all those who used to call me by that name have forgotten about me entirely.”
“You see, I do know. Actually, I try to know. That’s what’s called ‘homework.’”.
“Don’t do that.”
“Why?”
“If all the nice things that Rohini’s said about me are displaced, it would be my loss.”
“How so?”
“It’s because you pay half the rent that I can still dream of staying in this flat in Bombay.”
“Why a dream? You really live here. And most of the time you’re alone here.”
“Actually, even now, as soon as I wake up, my eyes first see the blue of the sea. But that would not have been possible without Rohini. A balcony on the eighteenth floor that leans over the sea, in Tardeo, a place like this – after all, it’s a dream. Instead, if I somehow managed to get a job, I might have stayed as a paying guest in Nala Sopara or Shanpara. Maybe not even that. Who knows…’ ‘There’s nothing to be so dejected about.”
“I can’t really say there’s nothing…”
“Why?”
“How about all that being the topic for this evening?”
“Why?”
“Didn’t I tell you I’ve planned to sleep all day today?”
“I know you’re always eager to avoid me.”
“Why would that be? You’re so famous! Even you don’t know the number of fans you have. And I’m merely a teacher!”
“My fame and all that…is that why you avoid me?”
“Why should I avoid you? Whenever there’s something, if you’re here, I tell you, or otherwise, I speak to you over the phone.”
“Yes, you do, but that’s about the rent, bills, tax and all that!”
“No, I also try to remember and tell you the various messages that your friends come and leave for you.”
“That’s why I’m grateful to you.”
“I don’t think about all that. You, too, are inconvenienced because of me at times. I don’t like that.”
“Why would I be inconvenienced because of you? After all, it was written in our terms of reference that we can spend time in our own rooms, as we wish. And that we won’t use the common space in such a way that the other resident is inconvenienced.”
“I know that you try to be careful so that I am not inconvenienced.”
“Me and careful? The two can never go together!”
“Who knows, I’m not so aware.”
“You’re aware, alright. As soon as you feel that you’re becoming a bit more flexible, you start building the wall. Please, Tinni, why don’t you keep your professorial stance away for today! Please!”
“Don’t you have a shoot today?”
“No.”
“Don’t you have anything? Friends, etcetera?”
“No, but why are you getting so irritated? You don’t even want me to be at home!”
“Arey, not at all. Didn’t I say I feel like sleeping today!”
“Alright. I’ll cook your favourite meal today. Tell me, what would you like to eat?”
“Don’t invite calamity by asking me that.”
Excerpted with permission from The Sea, Swati Guha, translated from the Bengali by V Ramaswamy, The Antonym Collections.
